Daddy, Papa and Me

We were “matched”. A mother who lives in Barstow California has placed her unborn child for adoption. The child will be born in May. We talked to her last night for an hour or so on the phone and will be visiting her at the end of the month, in about three weeks. So, unofficially we are ‘matched’ (mother chose us, we chose the mother).

Her story is that she has 5 children and is still married. Her husband has left her and taken three of the children. They are getting divorced. The husband doesn’t want her or the child (he wanted her to get an abortion) and she feels that she can not emotionally or financially (she has been married 20 years to this man and never worked) take care of another child.

We don’t know the gender yet, or even if it is twins or not! but she will be getting into a prenatal program soon and we should know by the time we visit her I hope. The mother is 1/2 mexican and 1/2 jewish, the father is 3/4 african american and 1/4 Irish, as my friend Mary says, a great “American Demographic” .

Of course this could all fall through and we need to emotionally prepare ourselves for that. The father has said he will reliquish his paternal rights (he has verbally, but says he will also in writing), but he could always change his mind. We will make sure he has signed the paper before we start sending any major financial support (we need to help her medical, nutritional other needs for the next couple months). She is sure he will, is happy to even.

And of course the mother by California law has 30 days after the birth to change her mind. I was checking some statistics, over 99% of mothers who place children for adoption do not change their mind after the 6th month and those that do, almost none after the 2nd day of the child’s birth. She seems quite commited to this. She wants to meet us (and we her) and she wants us to come down before the birth and be with her (which we will). A sign of commitment.

Still, we are preparing both ways. We are getting excited. This is the biggest step so far.

It looks like we might be parents in May.

We will keep you abreast. I’m thinking of starting an “adoption journal” .

Love you all,

Warren

Tags: Adoption, adoption process

This entry was posted by Trey on Tuesday, February 5th, 2002 at 6:58 am and is filed under Adoption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.