Just Married!!
(photos are below, in the ‘read more’ link)
30 years ago two men attempted to get married in Boulder Colorado, I was a new teenager living in Ft. Collins Colorado, excited, scared and anxious about two gay men getting married. The virtriol was palpable then and it helped send me into 20 years of fear and into hiding.
Today, I am married to one of the gentlest and cutest men in the world and have one of the sweetest and fun-loving daughters in the world. Today, if not for long perhaps, we are not only recognized as spouses by our wonderful friends and family, but in the eyes of the law.
Today, at least today, we stand equal before the law. Last year the last laws against our love were struck down and now today we have the same rights and obligations as our married neighbors and family. In 30 years we have gone from fear and discrimination to this.
Oh, God in heaven, WE ARE MARRIED!!!
I can not tell you what the day has been like, but I will attempt it…
We arrived at 9am with our friends and their two boys (our friends were getting married too). My parents were able to make it back up by 9:30. The doors would open at 10am to let us in. Even by 9am the line was already as big as it was yesterday, and that was the line for those who were NOT here yesterday, our line (for those who had tickets from yesterday) was over 200-300 couples, maybe more, because we were let in at 10am and the line was still growing.
While waiting in line, volunteers (people who were married in days before and people who just came to help) came down the line to make sure our forms were filled out _perfectly_ correct. They want no mistakes. At 10am we started to file in, the feeling was one of amazing anticipation and joy. In fact, the entire day everyone in line and everywhere was in a mood of celebration and excitement dashed with a bit of subversive defiance 
. It was a big party, a party of civil disobedience and love. You wouldn’t believe the diversity of people there, lots of families with children, lesbian couples, gay couples and their kids, people of different races and ethnic groups, older couples, younger couples.
When we all filed in it was of the first times I got very choked up and couldn’t talk for fear of sobbing. Once in the building we went through a maze of halls (directed by volunteers) to the clerk’s office. There Guy and I and our two friends (J and B, i haven’t asked them I could use their names gave them our 82 dollars for the fee and forms. They typed them in, made sure they were correct, had us swear an oath that all was correct and true, signed the forms, and gave the fininshed forms back to us
We met so many people while we waited, a gay couple visiting from switzerland who decided to get married, a lesbian couple with two adopted children who were so sweet (all four of them) and so many others. EVERYONE was friendly today.
It was then to our ceremonies!
On the interior rotunda, on the steps, a volunteer from Los Angeles who was married on Friday married Guy and I with my parents and our friends looking on and Emma in our arms. The second choke up and tears flowing as we vowed to love and cherish each other for the rest of our lives.
Its interesting, I still look to our commitment ceremony 6 years ago as our ‘real’ (for a lack of a better term) marriage, for it was there that we were married in front of our God, our families and our friends. It was there that it was true. But today it was in the eyes of the law, and possibly, in the eyes of society as a whole. Today was historic.
Then J and B got married, two sons in arms, as we witnessed for them. A third choke up and tears. I’m a sap.
A camera crew (not the first nor last of the day, just the longest) asked to interview us, so we sat in the San Francisco history room (appropriate!) on the floor with my mother and our kids and answered questions about what marriage meant to us as gay parents, how we came to be parents, our feelings of the day and so much more. They are doing a documentary on gay parents that they hope to follow for 5 years, updating us every year or so. there were also photographers and journalists taking our pictures and asking questions from all over, as far away as Europe and Japan. I don’t think I’ve EVER been photographed so much (though I’m not sure how much that says, i rarely have them taken .
We then went down to another office where are forms were turned in a fee of 13 was paid and our marriages were registered!!
We are MARRIED!!!
As we walked out of City Hall, there was a crowd of hundreds of people there just to applaud and cheer us as they were everyone married that day. Hundreds of people, some married earlier, many just from around the city, the state and the country JUST to watch the historic day and give their support. My fourth sobbing point. Emma was thoroughly enjoying it, waving to everyone and smiling hugely. Many people plied us with flowers and congratulations.
what a day. We are exhasted, estactic, joyful, excited, stressed and over all feeling the import of the historic thing we just were a part of.
Can you believe it? We are married!!
We got there at 9am four gay men, we left at 1:30…two married couples.
we all went to the restaurant and ate lunch, commisserated about the meaning of it all and went home (the kids started to fall asleep in their food, it was about time to put them down for naps)>
thank you everyone for your love and support and thank you Gavin Newsom for starting this amazing act of love and civil disobedience.
photos in ‘read more’ link.
Our friends J and B, their sons and us:
the nice couple from Russian River (real estate brokers from North of here)
Emma meets a new friend, Noah, in line:
just another photo of J and B and sons… such a cute family:
Noah’s Mom gets readied for marriage by his sister, while we all wait inside to get to the clerk’s office:
Emma and M share a moment of reflection:
Emma and O share a moment of celebration:
a volunteer explains some things to Guy:
a great family we met in line;
friends of my parents we met in line… already married!!:
Emma and Noah discuss the meaning of it all:
a couple visiting from Switzerland.. and who knew a friend of ours from there!.. small world:
about to get married, Omar and Matthew inspect the mike, making sure it works:
Guy and I get MARRIED!
J and B get MARRIED!
the interview by the documentary filmers afterwards:
the crowds cheering the married couples as they left (it stretched both directions, too bad I don’t have panarama):
and a celebratory lunch… someone is very tired:
oh.. and the actual certificate.. WE ARE MARRIED
(i’ve got soooo many more photos.. i’ll have to do a gallery or post them as i think of it)
About The Author
Trey and Guy, CONGRATULATIONS!
My husband Robert and I are truly happy for you and for all the folks that made their unions legal and wonderfully binding 
Its about time they allow this all over the world. Love is love and its great to see it be acknowledged legally in a wonderful family.
Emma has grown so much and is so beautiful! Our blessings to both of you!
Mellina & Rob
*crying*
Congrats to you. 
I’ve been watching it all on the news…looking for any of my friends I know…I didn’t get a chance to go down to SF this weekend though to cheer all of you on…my husband and I both think this is a great step for the world
Brooke
OMGosh, CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so happy for you all & just THRILLED to tears for you, Emma & Guy, and all the new MARRIED couples!!!
AMAZING, simply amazing! It’s so AWESOME & I’m just in tears over here… of joy
.
Happy Honeymoonin’ to you guys
punkin aka Angel from [parenting group we belong to]
Congratulations. Knowing that you two are married with a certificate in hand makes it all so real for us!! Thanks for sharing this good news. We love you guys/gays and Emma.
Love,
Gary and Millie
I’m crying! I’m so happy for you & your family. Congratulations!
I’m not only glad I am really HAPPY for you !!
Such a cute couple like you is the dream of a lot of people, you make me strong to get acceptation of my family,that’s an emotional occasion !
CONGRATULATIONS you GUYS !!!!
Your Angelito from Heidelberg
You made me sit here crying. Heartfelt Congratulations!
Lilli from Cologne
Many blessings on your marriage! I am overwhelmed for you.
Picture me at my desk at eBay with a gigantic smile on my face! Love you, incredibly happy for you. Way to go!
-Brian
Congratulations.
I’m married, too. With an adopted little girl named Gracey. My wife and I have been married for 13 years, but I remember the feeling pretty well. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have the 2 halves of the experience separated by years. (Vows and commitments vs. legal standing).
God, I hope the Supremes keep their spines when these marriages get challenged.
Thanks for posting this. I’ve been pretty down about how Dean’s campaign has faltered. I can’t tell you how much it cheers me to see positive news in the world.
Good luck to you and your family.
1. Nachricht (nur von Andreas):
love you, kiss you, miss you!
How wonderful!!!Your message struck me twice. Because of the good news it brought and because of Emma’s pictures-my God I hope I’ll manage to see her before she can a drive a car!!! She’s grown up! I would like to see more!!!!
How are you guys?
Ok, some news from me: you wouldn’t believe it, but I am in Heidelberg again!!! Sitting in the EMBL library. My year in Paris was spent last October wehn I returned to my little flat on Panoramastrasse. I enjoyed the parisian life, the lab a little less. Now I am working as a freelance writer and I’ll start a new post-doc this coming academic year. When I left Paris, Heidelberg seemed the most sensible place to go back to, although I won’t stay for long.
It was great to hear your news and I’ll try to improve my conduct in e-mail replying.
I will come to visit one day.I would be happy to see the netire family and I have never been to San Francisco.
Warm hugs,
Giovanni
Oh! we are happy for you all! as the words in english are not enough to express our joy, here you have a couple of sentences in our favorite lenguages:
Felicidades!!! Ojala Emma aprenda espa
We love you and wanted to tell you congratulations again. Sounds like an amazing experience – what a memorable wedding day! Now you have 2 wonderful anniversaries to celebrate
Dear Warren,Guy, and Emma,
Congratulations!!!! We are so excited for you! The 3 of you make us so proud to call you family! We love you so much and wish you all the happiness that life has to offer.
Love Always,
Beth, Terry, Kiana, Jasmine, & Kayla
Woohoo!!! Congratulations! Truly happy for you and your spouse!
Thanks also for visiting my site — and I’ll be checking back to yours often!
I was so touched by this story and I look forward to getting married to my partner next year.I love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life and all eternity with him.
We have decided to wait till next year for proper planning because we both have to save money,besides we live in different countries.
Thank you for inspiring me through your story,may God bless you.
have not the teachings of the church taught you idiots anything?! Adam and eve not steve! Believe me your end will not be pretty and gay! ……..and its coming soon, sorry.
Even i got married on 15feb 2004
so we share the same date
wish you all the best in the future
Just stumbled onto this site – I’m not Mormon, I’m Jewish. But how nice to see how happy you all look in the pictures. Best of luck to both of you!
Hey guys, I think it was a while back I saw you on the news, and thought wow those guys are so handsome and so fortunate. Now as I am browsing the internet I found your photo and info. Congratulations. I used to live in Utah, too bad we had not met, sound like such wonderful guys.
I myself am a member of the church and I am single, and have had three foster boys in my home.
WEll best close. If ever visting WA State look me up. Skip
Congratulations! May God grant you many years and all the very best! Opa kai chr
I am weeping. (Extremely belated) congratulations and every happiness to you!
I am so happy for you guys. It has been my dream for so long to get married. I am only 18, but it is people like you who make it possible and made it possible for my generation to really express and be themselves. Congratulations!
Congratulations to you both! Fabulous!
I can only hope that one day I will feel as you did that day…(provided that dud in office doesn’t have his way).
But I digress – many happy returns and all that – I hope you daughter appreciates her daddies’ happiness, too.
You are definitely NOT a sap. I don’t even know you and I was bawling! I imagine that this was a day you will never forget. Many, many congratulations!
I am amazed by the courage the gay couples took.
Hi Trey,
I was searching for quotes about adoption for a project I am working on, and I really like yours, “she is our child, in our hearts, our souls and in the court records”. I would like to quote you, but I wanted to make sure that was ok. I do not know your last name either, so you can email me to let me know if it’s ok, and if so, what your last name is. Thanks…
Kelly m
definitely a bit mistly reading that!
i hope me and my partner follow suit soon.