Daddy, Papa and Me

This is only a test

It's been a while, nearly three weeks in fact.

The previous incarnation of Daddy, Papa and Me was hacked.

The hacker was able to access the server and replaced the home page with something that was quite nasty. So nasty, it can not be repeated here. Suffice it to say it was homophobic and borderline illegal. It's the third time in three years a hacker has taken over the site, but it was the only that was malign.

They also took over the cgi scripts and started processes running that completely took over the server and sent out malicious crap to other pages/emails. My host shut down the site. I was only able to gain access to the site last week, and then only barely.

I've been able to download or had archived most of the site, but reinstalling it is going to take a while. I'm not particularly versed in SQL databases (how the stuff is downloaded) and so far it's not working well to upload it all. I'll get it done though.

So in the mean time, please read! and comment and return and tell your friends and neighbors we are back.

I'll post my first christmas post tomorrow. I've got a lot of stuff that happened in three weeks.

We want our holiday season to be more of a 'season' instead of a day. We also want it to have more meaning than just 'getting' gifts.

So last year we started an advent calendar (i'll point to it later when I get my stuff back up and running), this year we've instituted and advent wreath.

Advent does two things for us, it lengthens the season and it gives meaning. Follow me in the extended for the rest.

Last week Emma and I experienced an interesting (understatement alert) situation. We were coming out of the house to go to school. Our house is on a corner. We walked out of the door and turned the corner to get to the car when we ran into a young couple (being San Francisco and just a mile from the Castro, this was a male-male couple) holding hands.

But there was something not quite right.

Yesterday's Advent calendar activity was to make sugar cookies for our neighbor, Marge. She's an 'elderly' woman, sweet, loves Emma who we talk to every day as she walks her dog. Has a fascinating history.

Anyway, Emma loved doing this activity. She loves cooking (remind me to tell you her latest recipe). She wants to keep most of them for herself.. but she's excited about giving Marge a few :).

Excuse the line from In & Out (modified of course). Apparently, the World Net Daily (a news blog contributed to and read by many conservative leaders/pundits) had an exclusive commentary: A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals. You guessed it, soy.. as in soy milk, tofu, edamame. Apparently, this "theory" has been circulating in religious right circles for a while now, but he brought it up again and everyone from Andrew Sullivan to Towleroad had to comment on it.

Well, ok. That's Emma. You see, she was a bit impatient that everyone else was getting their trees but we didn't have ours yet. So... she got the tree stand out of the basement and insisted we hang stockings and this ball on her. If we weren't going to get a tree.. she was going to be one! :D Well, we got it on Sunday. Photos of tree later.

Just a quick update:

Good: We're here!

Bad: The previous blog 'sql' database is corrupted, i.e. it's all lost. All the archives.

Today was a small piece of candy and to randomly tell 3 people we love them with a big hearty hug. Emma LOVED that. She got all three: The first three she saw: Daddy and our friends Radek and Amy. I still have one more to tell :D.

I also made Lucia Bullar for Emma's class last night. Her class celebrated Saint Lucia's Day today. It's a Swedish holiday celebration. Ironically, it's an Italian woman Sweden celebrates and a Catholic saint (a mainly protestant country), but hey, it's fun. Anyway, the school has several days through the year they celebrate through their lunch program to teach kids about the world (the lunch period they eat traditional foods and have a little activity). I'm hoping to help the school have a Chuseok celebration (Korean Harvest Celebration). I loved it when I was in Korea, it'd be fun with the kids.

There is yet another case before the Supreme Court this week on race. This time it is to decide whether Seattle and Louisville are allowed to use the race of the student in that student's placement in a public school. And from comments it seems that the court will bar public schools from doing so.

I attended Walter Reed/Lee elementary schools when Arlington county and Virginia finally got around to fully desegregating their schools. That desegration and busing experience changed my life. We now have a daughter entering kindergarten next year and are faced with choosing a school for her in a district, San Francisco Unified, that has faced this very issue (raced-based placement) and is facing it again. It will have a lot of impact on the school she attends and the experience she has.

You could say that history has come full-circle... or that nothing has changed.

Simple activity yesterday: Sign all our christmas cards. Emma was very happy to do it and dutifully signed every one, as did Daddy and I... so now they are going out :D.

Well, New Jersey legislature approved a civil union bill today by a 75% majority in the Assembly (56-19) and a 66% majority in the Senate. Of course, the state Supreme Court didn't give them much of a choice.

Except they could have made it marriage instead of civil unions (yes, there is a difference). Still, supporters didn't think they had the votes for marriage and it's a step. They now join the ranks of Vermont, Connecticut, Maine and California, states that have full state given rights for same-sex couples. Massachusetts is still the only with marriage.

Yesterday was a 'makeshift' advent day. You see, Wednesday the school's music teacher called us and asked if Emma would sing/dance for the 3rd through 5th grade's holiday show (she was going to have 2 other preschoolers do it too). She said Emma had such a huge smile and did it with such joy, she HAD to have Emma in the program. So, after asking Emma if she wanted to, we said she could do it.

So that was her advent activity for yesterday: Her first concert!!

We are trying to do a few things with Emma around 'giving' and charity, but we had some criteria we hope to match at least for some.

1. Had to be concrete. I think at this age (heck, even at my age) it's nice to see who you are giving to and what you are doing. Just giving money doesn't work, I'm not sure she would completely understand, so we wanted some interaction, some concrete giving.

2. It last a while. We'd like the giving to be something that extends beyond this 'season of giving'

So, here were some of the ideas:

It's a brief one today. Supper today is chili casserole. It's one of the things I do when I have no time at all to cook. You'll need 4 cans of chili (low fat turkey chili is good :), two small cans of canned jalapeno peppers (optional), a cup (or two :) of low fat cheese and one package of corn bread mix. Layer in a 4qt (I think) casserole dish: Chili first, then spread peppers on top, spread cheese on top of that, and then pour (prepared as per package directions) cornbread mix on top and spread evenly.

Cook as the directions for the corn bread package directs (might take a little longer to get the chili hot enough, but I've never had to). Viola.

so.. on to the 'talk' part of supper talk:

Day 15 was a simple activity. Make some Christmas cards for friends. We made two, she had fun.

Yesterday, was to make a gingerbread house from grandma! (and one for us). We put it off till today or tomorrow since we had a christmas party to go to at a friends house. We'll get it done though!

HRC has a new buying guide based on their Corporate Equality Index.

In the spirit of my new year's resolution to look on the bright side, lets take a look at some good news (and some ideas of where to shop to reward the good companies)...

Growing up in Virginia I considered myself Episcopalian. We weren't particularly church-going or anything, but I remember asking my Mom what we were and she said "Episcopalian," her family was Episcopalian and we went to a few Easter and Christmas services. So that's what I considered myself. Later in my teenage years, I went and studied more about the Anglican faith.. but then became Mormon instead, at 18.

After finding a soulmate, being excommunicated from that church (in that order :)) and adopting a child, we have been on a journey to find a congregation and faith. We've attended and have been leaning towards several Episcopal congregations in the area and this Christmas season we've been incorporating more 'Anglican' traditions like Advent sundays and celebration, Epiphany observance, etc.

And now... several Episcopal congregations in my homestate of Virginia are voting to today to secede from the Episcopal church

Was it something I said? or did?

Well, if you look at the right hand column, you'll find that my 'rentacoder' did an excellent job of getting my files back in the blog!! (really, check out RentaCoder. It's a great way to get small and large jobs done. And if you do, check out the coder Tarsi210, he's excellent and quick)

That's the good!!

Not much bad really. I'm just happy to have our stuff back.

The ugly? well, the formatting isn't perfect (no paragraphs) and the categories are lost. Also, the images don't link yet, but I'm working on that. The right hand column isn't great. So I have a few things to do...

Yesterday was Advent Sunday 3. Now, there are various traditions surrounding advent sundays and the advent wreath. Candles are 3 blue and a rose or 3 purple and a rose or all white, they represent the "hope, love, joy and peace" in order, or "hope joy peace and love in that order", or prophets, Bethlehem, shephards and angels. Some have a 5th candle to represent Christ, others don't. And the variations go on.

It started as a Northern European (specifically Germanic) Pagan tradition. Lighting fires around a wreath of evergreen to bring light to the ever-lengthening darkness in anticipation of the solstice and the light of day returning.

Which was a nice segue for the German Christians to use into Jesus being the 'light' of the world in 'darkness. Anyway, we've instituted the tradition into our Christmas celebrations.

We read before bed every night

We started by reading picture books...

Then graduated to simple sentence books...

Then went on to books with full stories (and pictures on every page) that could be read at a 20 minute sitting at most

Last week, we started our first 'chapter' book (with few pictures)...

Advent days 18 was to bake some gingerbread cookies for her friends at school.
Unfortunately, day 19 didn't go so well. Emma decided to get into the calendar on her own and opened day 19 (hey, she at least knows the number 19!) and ate the candy. She also started to open one of the presents under the tree. We had a long talk about it. I understand, she's a 4 year old and the anticipation and excitement can get pretty overwhelming. Still, after talking about it we decided to take the candy out of day 20 and 21 :(. It was her decision. Day 19 was to draw grandma and grandpa a picture (they flew in from Utah yesterday for the holidays) as a welcome home.

Glad it was a simple one. We are backed up. We still have cookies to bake, a gingerhouse to finish, blankets to deliver to a shelter and clothes to drop off at goodwill. We can do the latter two tomorrow.

We're learning. We'll need to plan the activities a little bit better, with the more involved ones on weekends. Life is busy, especially this season. We'll have to think of some simpler ones we can do. That doesn't mean meaningless though. One of the simplest we did so far was picking a kid to sponsor, but it will last a long time and will be quite meaningful. I need to think of more like that :).

China has some new rules coming on adoption. They are tightening:

• No single parents
• No parents over 50
• No obese parents (BMI > 40 is their criteria)
• No parents on medication for depression or anxiety disorder
• Couples must have been married for at least two years and have had no more than two divorces between them. If either spouse was previously divorced, the couple must have been married for at least five years.
• and so on

and so on. This is still less restrictive than some countries (Germany and South Korea for example) and more so than others (the U.S. and Guatamala to name a couple).

Why? It's all supply and demand.

Today's supper is well.. leg of lamb at my mother's house. My parents-in-law, Guy, Emma and my brothers/spouse/their families are going to my Mom's house for dinner (since I'm doing Christmas Eve dinner like every year... Yes, Mom.. every year :D)

So, I'll leave you with this. I love maps and this is fascinating to watch:

Well, I definitely wasn't the first to think of adding a giving opportunity and activity each day of Advent in the calendar. This online calendar at the National Cathedral's (in D.C.). Every day has a giving opportunity and a meditation. Some are affordable (20 dollars), others not so much (nearly 2,000), but they are nice ones.

Our calendar for the 20th was a simple one, make a card to grandmom and grandad. (no candy today :( )

Next year, if I get more ambitious, I'm going to start putting in a 'meditation' (for kids and adults) in every day...

So, the California State Supreme Court has decided to hear a case on same-sex marriage. An appellate court ruled that the state does not have to offer marriage to same-sex couples (2 to 1 decision), but the Supreme Court has set that ruling aside and will hear the case.

A ruling isnt' expected until late next year...

I don't know much about Nemesis Rising except it's a musical duo who have a reality show and they are identical twins and Jehovah's Witnesses. Well, apparently they've been excommunicated from their church. I was excommunicated from the Mormon church in 1997 for similar reasons (for me it was my relationship with Guy, for them it's being openly gay).

There is some differences between the two experiences, at least from what I can gather from press accounts...

Getting there! I've got a plan and images are back, that's the good. It will take a while to implement, the bad... and its still ugly (the current design)...

And just when I got rolling again. This weekend is well, if you don't know... We have 15 people over for Christmas Eve celebration. I'll be cooking all weekend, Emma going to visit Santa, we are going to the Black Nativity, a play of the nativity with Langston Hughes poetry and gospel music.

Christmas Eve we'll mingle and then eat dinner (standing rib roast, ham, yorkshire pudding, etc)...

As I mentioned, it's a break. Blogging will be non-existent the next 3-4 days and maybe one a day or so the rest of the week till the new year.

So... (after a couple posts more today)... I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas...

or had a bright Solstice
or a happy last days of Hanukkah
or an instructive and festive Kwanzaa
or a prayerful Eid al-Adha
or an aggrieved Festivus (that's for you Chad and Lorrie!)

Interestingly, we have family and/or friends who celebrate one of those, or two.. or several. So, to you all... a festive season and a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Ok, we are going out to dinner... wow.. supper talk is going lax on the supper part. We are taking two of Emma's friends, her grandma and grandpa (Guy's parents) and a friend visiting from D.C. to see "Charlotte's Web" and then going to dinner.

So what will be the topic of discussion....

Well, apparently we smell like dogs...

Just got hit with a 3.7 earthquake, 2 miles east of Berkeley, about 12 miles from us. 3.7 shook the entire house. Nothing fell off or broke or anything, but I tell you, if every integer is 10times stronger.. I DO NOT want to feel a 6.7... that'd be a 1,000 times more powerful.

It's the second we've felt in San Francisco in the 7 years we've lived here. The other one was less than 3 and felt like a big truck passing by. This one felt like something fell on the house.

So, yesterday Emma got dressed in her new party dress she got for Christmas from her uncle Jim and aunt Buthina. It was beautiful and beautiful on her.

Grandma (Guy's mom) was commenting to her saying:

"Emma, you look so.... what is the word I'm looking for?..."

and Emma filled in the word:

"Distinguished"

"Yes, you look very distinguished!"

Blog is progressing little by little...

I write about global warming because I believe it will impact the life of our daughter (and your children) deeply. I have put off writing a longer 'why I accept the science' because of the season, blog destruction, etc. And I'm going to put it off a little bit longer. For now, here is my view (and two news items related):

Here is the distinguished dress. It's not the best photo in the world, but you get the idea :D.

Actually, this isn't so new. I've reported several times that the percentages of gay couples in the census was undercounted and I was correct according to a census report this year.

Well, Pam at Pam's Houseblend reports on a NYT article about LGBT Kansans coming out in large numbers. The report I wrote about above says Kansas had a jump of 68% in self-reporting same-sex couples.

One reason this is happening...

Supper. Well, lets see. We've got leftover beef from Christmas Eve dinner (standing rib roast), leftover sour cream from some dip recipe and leftover (uncooked) carrots and parsnips from not cooking them for dinner because I got sick Christmas Eve. And some extra flat leaved parsley from the stuffed turkey breast for Christmas Eve dinner. So for supper: Beef stroganoff and steamed carrots & parsnips w/ parsely.

Topics of conversation? Massachusetts supreme court, books for kids on African American History and Culture, Warholizers and earthquakes.

So, I've seen some of this one the web in other blogs... you know, a meme that you list 5 things about yourself, one of which isn't true. Can't remember where I read the last and no one has 'tagged' me, but thought I'd play and let you play.

Here are 5 things I've done in my life. Only thing is, one is a lie. Guess which...

So, 2006 is about to end... oh, didn't you hear? I thought I'd list some of the men and women in the public eye who came out in 2006. Some with nobility and honor, some forced out in disgrace.

The list...

There are two reactions one can have to the 'turning of the year' on a blog. One can ignore it and refuse to do the 'year in review', top 10 lists and retrospectives that are endemic at the end of the year.

Or one can revel in them... so I'll do the latter.... a pile of our lists:

Louisa asks in a comment how I feel about perezhilton outing Lance and Neil in my post about "Out in 2006". Interestingly, I didn't know how that happened. I assumed they just came out. I'm not a big follower of celebrity news (I watch the shows though :). So I checked up on it and have a half-formed opinion about it...