Daddy, Papa and Me

Well, Happy New Year! 2007... wow. Still amazes me that it's the 21st century. When I was a teenager they had a show about the 21st century and all the things life might have. I'm not sure they got much right.. I'll have to look it up someday though I can't remember the name of the show. I'll bet they didn't get the iPod... betcha they missed the internet even. Still, it felt then that 2000 was a whole other world I'd not see...

Anyway, when Guy and I got together we thought it'd be a nice tradition to spend New Years Eve somewhere different every year.

After first not voting on the issue, the Massachussets state legislature voted to put the petitioned ballot to ban gay marriage in that state (the only that has gay marriage) on the ballot in a vote of 132 (against putting on ballot) to 61 (for).. it only needed 25% to get it on the ballot. The legislature has to vote again one more time next year and then the amendment to reverse rights will go to the ballot in 2008 possibly.

In today's NY Times, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and retired general John Shalikashvili calls for a change in the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy for gay's in the military (that link might need a subscription, if so.. I've quote some of the more important passages below in "fair use"). He was a supporter of the policy in 1993. He's changed his mind...

So much to talk about today... and Guy's not here (business in Utah). I'll just put the topics here, we'll talk abou them later. Supper tonight is simple, it's just Emma and I. I think we'll do a 'quick vegi soup' (recipe to follow).

So... so ... much to talk about..

Well, as you see, there has been a change. Explanations and stuff in the continuation...

A long delayed movie (you'll need a quicktime plugin) of Emma's debut as a star... in the continuation...

Emma went trick-or-treating with her two friends O and M, third year in a row they have. This time they all decided to dress as lady bugs... different colors. M and Emma had a disagreement, they BOTH wanted to be red, so they agreed to be a dark and a light red... Photos are late because I forgot my camera.. and my mother just sent these to me.

Ok, so I wrote 5 stories about myself and asked you to guess which is not true. Silph and Baccus guessed number 2.

Well...

Oh, I missed this from a month ago but a new movie is being filmed about a gay Canadian hockey player, his partner and adopting an 11 year old boy. It's based on a book by the same name.

One of the amazing things about this is that a Canadian icon, the Toronto Maple Leaf Hockey team has given the filmmakers their blessing in using the team logo, etc.

Of course the religious right is up in arms...

I particpated as a volunteer coordinator to get the referendum passed to tear it down 7 years ago, I wrote about it 4 years ago right before they finally tore the freeway down, I wrote about it three years ago as the neighborhood began to change, and I wrote about it a year ago when they finally opened the new boulevard.

Well, it's been 15 months since it opened...

Supper tonight, it's Emma and me again (busy travel month for Guy). Baked chicken strips with Emma's carrot slaw (modified). Recipes after the talk...

RealClimate, one of the best resources for climate change information (balanced, serious and scientific views and analysis for the interested lay person by climate scientists), has a very nice year in review a light-hearted look at " climate science goings-on " in 2006. Including this one:

Best highlight of the gap between the 'two cultures':
Justice Scalia: 'Troposphere, whatever. I told you before I'm not a scientist. That's why I don't want to have to deal with global warming' .

2007 could be a doozy... in the continuation...

One of Terrance's links for the day is this link to the 13 images that changed the world. It's a fascinating list (and the comments add to the interest with others that should or shouln't have made it). I was going to do my own list of those I thought changed the world, but you know.. how the heck would I know? I don't know what changed other people's perceptions, I'm not a historian, photographer, etc. But I am an expert on my own life. So, it started me to thinking, what images changed my life? I came up with some criteria for that list:

1. must have been an image of an event in the world. It can't be just an event, there must be an image that is associated with it at the time. There are a lot of events I remember from my life that don't have a specific image that sticks out... those aren't here.
2. the image must have had an impact on me at the time (i.e. I must have remembered the event and the photo) and onwards

The one you see here doesn't fit those criteria, just thought it interesting to start off. It's the first photo every taken... in 1826,... the rest continued, in chronological order.

Rhea rambled (just a play on her handle :) about an and ABC meme and though she didn't tag me specifically... I'm bored (Emma is eating supper and Guy is traveling)... so.. here goes nothing...

Yep, they exist. Lots of them.

Nigeria is one of the places in the world were Mormonism has been growing by leaps and bounds (well from near 0 a couple decades ago to 120,000 today) . Inevitably, there are gay and lesbians among those Mormons.

Like so many things in the world, this story touches our lives, or at least there are many aspects of it that resonate with aspects of ours: Guy lived in Nigeria for a while as a health care worker, gay, Mormon. So what is the story? ...

There are gay ones among them. Today's supper will be crab cakes and roasted winter squash (still just Emma and me). Recipes after the talk.

Well, there is the courage of the gay Nigerian Mormons and that of Indian princes...

We are still in the midst of our school tours. I've been formulating a lot of thoughts about the SF school system based on tours and research.. like.. "Public schools as a whole are better than I expected" and "They'll never match the private schools... 7k per student vs. 16k? No match"...

Anyway, one of the questions we've asked of all the school directors or teachers who are giving the tours is something along the lines of "what does your school do to foster respect for different families, races, etc."

So, it's official. Apple has a new phone. And it's official, I'm drooling...

Some images of world/U.S. events had a strong impact on my life at the time and now. I posted some of them here, but I neglected to post number 8, 9 and 10. Those, though not world/U.S. events do qualify as events that were taking place somewhere else and the images of them impacted my life deeply.

Of course they are of Emma (and Guy meeting her for the first time). More of and about them in the continuation...

Mayhem & Magic is an adoption blog of a transracial family I found today (not sure how, was 'boredom' surfing and think it came through Peter's Cross Station). Excellent blog and I've added to my blogroll. This post about questions strangers ask.. .and answers we give is excellent.

Eugenics is a loaded word and means a philosophy which "advocates the improvement of human hereditary traits through various forms of intervention." What is happening in our society isn't "eugenics" per se, there is no direct coordinated intervention occuring, it's all "market" forces. Yet the results might be the same: "improvement" (I use the word loosely and disapprovingly) of human heritary traits. Millions of parents selecting for or against traits of their offspring.

Adoptive parents already go through a somewhat similar process of selection. It is a strange and emotionally fraught process. (warning, this is one of my long musings...)

Today is a very simple supper. Linguini with marinara sauce, garlic bread (you know, our Italian friends always thought it was very strange to each bread with pasta... but we always did growing up...), salad and baked broccoli & cheese. Recipes after the talk.

Hmm, Guy is still gone (till tomorrow), but Radek (housemate / occasional au pair) came home today from Poland. He didn't come alone, his parents and sister came with him and will be staying with us a week or so. They've never been to the U.S., in fact his mother and sister have never been on a plane (quite a first flight that was coming here!). They speak not a word of English, well.. hello and thankyou. So Supper conversation won't be particularly long... I'll tell Radek some.. leave the others to discuss with Guy tomorrow :)...

Like about the "N" word...

Walking to school today, Emma pointed to a woman (adminstrator at the school) who was about 8 months pregnant. She asked if she had a baby "in there." I answered in the affirmative.

"How did the baby get in there"

As I noted yesterday, Emma asked The Question. My 60 second answer must have satisfied her. I told her I talked to her more about it later if she wanted. She _never_ forgets what we promise or tell her, so that she hasn't said anything means it satisfied her or she's mulling it over. Either way, it will come up again. that's a guarantee of the parenthood contract you sign when a child comes into your home. Article 3, paragraph 2.1 states:

Said parent or parents will be questioned on topics of reproduction, sex, biology, bodily parts and other similar topics. These questions will occur at regular intervals during the offspring's life. There is no guarantee that these questions will come a convienient times or places. Parents must understand that convenient times and places are rare.

So, with Carrie Jo's prodding, I did some book searches. Anyone want to chime in on what they think of the ones I found so far, or have other suggestions?

So, Landismom has invented a meme, the favorite search term of 2007. You know, the things people search for that brought them to your blog/site. I'll bite...

Went to a discussion at our school today for parents (we have 'parent's night every so often to discuss topics of interest from adoption to books to race). The topic today was 'how to talk to your child about race'

It's not surprising, but every time I talk about/listen to 'race' talk, i am conflicted, angry, confused, happy, feel-good, have the answers, don't have a clue, etc.

Well, today we have a bunch of Gamofites coming over for supper. Guy missed his plane home from Hawaii (where he is working.. honestly), so wont' be home till tomorrow, so I'm entertaining the group (well, just my usual erudite conversational skills LOL). So supper is basically on them. But tomorrow I'm making polenta-squash gratin for Guy's return home. Recipe after our erudite conversation.

about that photo...

The American Anthropological Society has a new website about race (Understanding Race from three different perspectives: biology, history and experience. It's relatively basic but interesting. You can take a look at this map of human variation to see how this biologist sees race from a purely biological perspective. (hat tip: Alas, A Blog

As you might know, the old site was hacked, old design gone, can't find it anywhere on the web. Found this design, which I liked more than most and had it tweaked by the designer. It has it's bad points and good points. THe one I like least is white text on dark background. In the future I will change the design when I have money and time, but I could spend some tweaking colors... and in the that future when I do a redesign I'd like to do it 'right'. So, what do you think:

No "whatever you like" answers.. well, ok, you can, but I would prefer answers. I actually don't read my own blog on the site (I read the backend), so you have to live with it too. Do you love/hate the colors? banner? three columns? stuff? You can do just the poll or you could also comment. I'll take them into consideration with the next iteration and when that will be.

We hadn't talked to Emma about Martin Luther King much yet (we did last year, but she was 3 :). But she did at her school apparently, because it's on her mind. On the way home from school Friday afternoon, out of the blue she said:

"We talk about the King"

At first, a bit dense, I thought she meant a "king" and not "King".

"Which king honey?"

Ok, so that is actually "Cheap Fast and Good." For some reason I keep calling it what I put in the subject line. Guy thinks it's a Freudian slip. No comment. I bought this book because we need to 1) save money and 2) save time. The weekdays are rough, and as much as I'd like to spend 90 minutes in the kitchen every evening (really... it's relaxing to me), I can't. So, I thought I'd get this book and start out using some of the recipes and test them on the claims of being cheap, fast and good. We've tried two so far...

Today's supper, Twice Baked Potatoes. First, lets listen...

We have come so far, and we have so far to go... Now some talking and supper...

It's a slow blog day (and I'm not in the mood :). Silph said something about a bug in a comment. I indicated to him that it was a dragonfly. I knew the order of insects.. and told him (Odonata btw). Then I realized I knew the migratory patterns of hummingbirds and could list all the orders of insects, etc. I'm a geek, or was it a nerd, so I took the test:

Modern, Cool Nerd
86 % Nerd, 65% Geek, 26% Dork

When I was 16, after a talk by a visiting astronaut to my highschool who said he did the same thing, I wrote up 100 goals I wanted to finish before I died. I've modified some of them over the years as I grew up (got realistic.. I mean... Nobel prize?...), but in general they are the same. I won't transcribe them all here now, but here are some of ones I've completed so far and a few left to do. I'll get to transcribing the rest over time... more evidence of nerdom...

SoulForce is starting it's 2007 equality ride. Last year, I was asked to speak at a Soul Force equality ride rally at BYU, which I did and took pictures. It was a great experience to return to my alma mater (some of my experiences at BYU when I attended). In it had an impact, at they very least it got students and citizens _talking_ and thinking.

Soulforce just started training new equality riders this month. You can help by donating books for training or sponsoring a rider. Matt Hill Comer from Pam's House Blend is going.

School just called, Emma has a fever of 101. We have to come pick her up. I suspected something. This morning she woke up and felt a bit warm, but she was under several blankets (it's cold!) so I thought that was it. But then dropping her off today she was a bit clinging, not wanting me to leave, hanging on, asking me to read a book (which I did to the delight of another 8 or so classmates)... She is usually that way at drop off only when she is sick or in a bad mood (her usual is to go in and run and play immediately). I should have known...

So, I guess we'll have chicken soup for supper... supper talk will follow later :)

Well, I was going to make chicken soup, but we have a meeting tonight (Mamas and Papas steering committee), so instead we are getting pizza at the meeting. So... my new book came to the rescue.. I can make chicken soup in 30 minutes...

Now, a bit to talk about today...

This man, Johnny Lang, is my new favorite blues/gospel singer. He's 25. If he's this good now (his voice is amazing), I wonder what a few more years of experience will add.

Talk, talk talk...

We are a two dad family with adopted child(ren), transracial, Christian and so much more. You can read more about us here (coming soon).

I started this blog in February of 2002, yes, that's right 2002. I actually started 'blogging' in 1998, right before the word "blog" was coined. That was an online journal of esoteric opinion. It's defunct now (it went defunct 3 years ago). But Daddy, Papa & Me lives on...

We already learned a couple months ago, that same-sex marriage in Europe has made for:

"...higher marriage rates for heterosexuals, lower divorce rates, lower rates for out-of-wedlock births, lower STD rates...

So is Canada on the same trajectory towards higher marriage rates, lower divorce rates, lower out-of-wedlock births, lower STD rates, etc now that they have same-sex marriage?

She might not like to be called pretty or beautiful, but we know she is distinguished and she came home from a day-long visit with grandmom Tuesday in a new set of clothes she got from grandmom announcing she was stylish. I'd say she looks quite stylish :D. Looking at this photo after reading the 'crawling' post from 4 years ago... well, amazing the changes that happen in four short years.

Shannon at Peter's Cross station takes a fascinating perspective on something I wrote about in a post a few days ago in Free Market Eugenics and then mentioned briefly in a Supper Talk. It was the latter, where it was reported about a woman selling pre-made embryos that she takes her cue from and writes about it from the perspective of race (it's part one of two!).

As Nigeria is about to pass the new draconian anti-gay laws (outlawing, with 5 year prison sentence, _any_ contact between gay people... even talking in a cafe or visiting), the Virginia Episcopalian congregations that voted last month to join the Nigerian diocese because they couldn't stomach the gay-friendly Episcopalian church in America are starting to feel the consequences of their actions.

So, today is bean soup and whole wheat rolls. Recipe after we have a little chat.

Wow, Wow, that got out of hand, didn't it?. The actor who used the "f" word about another actor then idiotically used it in public and now everyone is saying something about it on talk shows and through publicists. Sometimes the drama is as fascinating behind the scenes as in the show (though I don't watch the show). That's just one of those words you shouldn't use. It's called civil society. It's like a pact, I don't use a slur, you don't use a slur. There are exceptions, but rare. Still, this seemed to have got a bit out of hand.

As our daughter gets older, her curiosity, interest and questions become more insightful, difficult and at times even uncomfortable. In the last week we've had discussions about adoption, sex, two-dad families, and the mechanisms of birth. These are along with questions about why cars move and why ice melts.

Now, with a adult, even a middle-schooler, I can answer all of these. On that last question I could go into molecular and chemical detail. Heck, I might be able to do that for all of them. But to a 4-year-old?

What, you were surprised? In today's Christianity Today, an article by conservative Christian, Christian Smith (no, not a mistype... his name is Christian), says that Evangelicals need to stop misusing statistics

Why do evangelicals recurrently abuse statistics? My observation is that they are usually trying desperately to attract attention and raise people's concern in order to mobilize resources and action for some cause. In a world awash in information and burdened by myriad problems, some evangelicals may justify the problematic misuse of statistics to get people to pay attention to what they think are good causes. But this is inexcusable. Such desperation, alarmism, and sloppiness reflect the worst, not the best, in evangelicalism.

I'm glad an evangelical said that. I've said it before...

The first comes by way of Peter's Cross Station: A Girl Like Me. A film documentary of African-American girls perceptions of beauty. The filmmaker redoes a doll test (used as evidence in Brown v. Board of Education) gives children two dolls, identical except one is black, the other white and asks children which they prefer (and which is 'nice'). The results are depressing. We have tried to instill in Emma that beauty comes in all colors, particularly a certain shade of chocolate brown. We've learned a lot about hair and dolls. I hope the world changes.

The second film, The Bible tells me so, is about three people and their communities and families and dealing with their sexuality. And, as they say on their homepage:

Throughout the unfolding of three very human journeys, clergy and major Biblical scholars will also weigh-in on what those oft-quoted scriptural verses, so often cited by religious conservatives, really mean. Among those voicing affirming interpretations of scripture are Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Harvard's Peter Gomes, openly gay Orthodox Rabbi Steve Greenberg and Reverend Jimmy Creech.

Somewhat reminiscent of what happened in Massachusetts and here in San Francisco, as Great Britain passes it's anti-discrimination act, there have been a few problems with religious adoption agencies refusing to accept gay couples.

It's become quite a row...

Supper! I hadn't told ya, but we have a family (3 people) staying in our house for a couple weeks. They speak no English and have never been to the U.S. before (and whose view of American food is, I'm sure, McDonalds and canned food. So far my suppers have hit four out of four (spaghetti, meatloaf, chicken pot pie, roast), but those have been 'traditional'... today's supper is 'taco night' and tomorrows is crab cakes and hoppin john, we'll see how those go over (no real recipes for taco night.. see more at the bottom, recipe for tomorrow's supper tomorrow.

Well, I told ya. The virtual world SecondLife proves that life imitates art. Jason of Positive Liberty reports on a 'hate crime' in SecondLIfe where a virtual mosque is bombed. He draws parallels between this and that and the importance of private property. What I find interesting, is this article which reports that real-world institutions have a virtual space in SecondLife, institutions like IBM, Reuters, BBC, political parties and charities. I tell you, you need to read Otherland to be insured that you'll understand where our world is headed :D.

A commenter, Silph, asked if Emma was still a vegetarian. He was referencing this post where we realized Emma would not eat meat.

Well..

Today is crab cakes and hoppin john! Yippee! (some of my favorite foods). So, this is a short supper talk... some updates from previous posts or suppertalks... then we eat...

This whole Donnie Davies and the hoax/not hoax hate video is really become quite a mystery (I mentioned it briefly, with links, here). You can read more about the updates to that mystery at towleroad or Joe. My. God. (he thinks he's an improv actor). Heck, someone even IM'd with him. Two theories: 1) It's a satire and hoax 2) It's a hateful, absurd reality... though Dan Savage has a third: 3) It's made to be a satire and hoax by someone who really believes so that the message will get spread. Yikes, my head is spinning.

Now, about Nigeria and Britain...

Ok, so that is PURE speculation, but hey, it's the rumor. Apparently, Tom Arnold said that his friend, the governor Arnold, suggested he wants to sign the bill (which passed the legislature last year and has been reintroduced). Some guy in the Log Cabin Republicans said that this rings true:

"We are being told the governor looks favorably on [the gay marriage bill] in general. He just wants his concerns addressed," said Vaughn, who declined to reveal whom he had spoken to on the governor's staff.

Well, it's plausible. Times are changing, he has a Democrat for a chief of staff this time, he doesn't have to worry about re-election, the state Supreme Court is about to rule (and could give him cover)... 2007 _might_ be the year that marriage-equality becomes a reality in the most populous state in the country... and by a vote. We'll see, don't want to get our hopes up too much do we?

Oprah has some gay dads on the show. You know, this is part of the gay parent agenda ;-).

Ours is in about an hour. Last year's was overall pretty good (of course.. it's Emma (minus that little bit about 'exclusion'). Interestingly, one teacher (there are 4 or so for the class of 36) is insisting she be there. We are assuming it's because she wants to say how amazing and delightful Emma is :D. Reports later.

Talk about convergence :).

So, you know. The mayor of San Francisco, our city, is Gavin Newsom. San Francisco is the place where the 'protest' marriages took place and we were married then...

Social Development: Check. Some things they said: Emma is a _very_ social child. Outgoing, friendly, everyone likes her, Empathetic. Likes to "mother", direct (especially a few kids :). As one teacher put it:

She positively "sparkles."

:D

Intellectual Development: