Daddy, Papa and Me

So, it appears Gavin Newsom had an affair with a married woman. Ok, so lots of people have had affairs with married people or while they were married. Newt Gingrich served his wife divorce papers while she was in the hospital with cancer. He remarried that same year, only to divorce her to marry the another (23 years his junior) woman he was having an affair with. So... well, guess this is all par for the course for politicians.

But Newsom?... and this just wasn't just _any_ woman, it was the wife of one of his closest friends, allies and supporters.

FamilyPride is organizing another White House Easter Egg Rollthis year.

We went last year, and the Egg roll and the entire trip (visiting family, touring DC) was an amazing experience! I wrote up a little bit on as a guest blogger for the FamilyPride Blog.

If you have a chance to go to D.C. (or are already there :), definitely consider going. Visit the Family Pride White House Egg Roll action center to sign up to go or as a volunteer.

Though, I'm sure you won't be seeing the Cheney's there.

Supper tonight is goulash. It's the last of our 'meaty' dishes now that our guests from Eastern Europe who are 'meat and potato' kind of people have returned home. Ok, not the 'last' last, just the last for a week or so. Recipe after a little chat...

Attention everyone, a West Point Cadet wrote an award-winning (given by the Armed Forces) essay on why it should happen, a former chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff changed his mind and decided it should be allowed, military men and women are comfortable with it, many nations (including our ally in Iraq, Britain) successfully allow it, the military NEEDS them, and several polls including this new poll shows 55% (or more) of the American public agree:

GLBT individuals should be allowed to serve openly in the military. It's about time, so, lets go support legislation to make it happen...

If you are in New Jersey, there is something else to call your attention to...

I'll give you a hint... 5 years.

I started this blog five (5) years ago today. That first entry was entitled "one step forward" and began:

We were "matched". A mother who lives in Barstow California has placed her unborn child for adoption. The child will be born in May. We talked to her last night for an hour or so on the phone and will be visiting her at the end of the month, in about three weeks. So, unofficially we are 'matched' (mother chose us, we chose the mother).

And what a 5 years that has been...That first step forward of course took several steps back as that adoption fell through 3 weeks after the baby was born... but took a huge leap in our journey when Emma came into our family. (I'll be writing more about thoughts on Emma's adoption when that anniversary comes up in 2 months :).

The blog has taken it's own life as it's gone from 'adoption' to family to politics and family to all of the above.

First some stats:

6 months ago, the Washington State Supreme Court ruled that marriage equality for gays and lesbians doesn't need to be granted by the state because marriage is about procreation and GLBT people can't procreate (never mind adoption or donors, etc.). Well, there is a new initiative proposed.

For me it took over a decade of prayer, fasting, struggling, reparative therapy and pain to finally realize that I was NOT going to change. I was gay.

But after saying he has struggled with these 'homosexual demons' all his life, and being treated for sexual addiction he says he only had one homosexual encounter and well,

Emma has had a string of questions about reproduction lately. It all started with the question "How did the baby get in there?"

She's a bright child. We'll give her an answer, short, brief and to the point and that will be enough. But you know she's thinking, processing because she'll fall dead silent for a while.

And then, a day, sometimes days later, she'll come up with a follow-up question...

Emma used to love her hats (this link takes you to some photos with her in hats). We love them too. She was so 'distinguished' in them. She doesn't wear them much any more (though she loved this 'stylish' one recently).

So, this book: Crowns: Portraits of Black Women in Church Hats, looks fascinating. I'm aware of the tradition having seen it when I've lived in Virginia and Baltimore (and tangentially, it's a large part of the "Black Nativity" play we see at Christmas. As one reviewer on Amazon states (from link above):

"For the African-American churchgoing women hats are not mere fashion statements they are integral expression of faith and cultural identity. The Apostle Paul should be thanked daily by all milliners for Paul furthered the fashion of wearing hats to church by writing "Every woman who prays or prophecies with her head unveiled dishonors her head" (I Cor. 11:5)."

There was this book that shows up when looking at "Crowns" on Amazon that we'll have to get: Queens: Portraits of Black Women and their Fabulous Hair. We'll have to get this book too :).

Recently, two pieces of news highlights why I find marriage equality extremely important on a very personal level.

The first is the Michigan supreme appeals court decision. A while back the state passed an anti-marriage equality amendment. The opponents of same-sex marriage INSISTED that this amendment would NOT affect domestic partnership health benefits and other such things offered by institutions or local governments. They lied. Immediately after the amendment was passed, the same groups that pushed for the amendment, went after those domestic partnership health benefits. A quote from the link:

Today's supper is a quick one, got work to do! It's a modified recipe from the "Cheap, Fast, Good" cookbook. About the neighborhood...

When we first moved into our neighorhood, we were accused of 'gentrifying it' (we bought a run-down house old Victorian in a marginal but rising neighborhood, which is much different today). I guess it's what gay men are known for. There's a reason...

Two links I came across today. Kind of busy, so not in a 'supper talk' or much expansion.. just for your edification:

Apparently, in some parts/schools in the Netherlands, dads aren't allowed in some public school 'playdates' because it would offend the 'gender separation' sensibilities of Muslim mothers. Like the author in the link, I have no idea what to think about that. Good discussion going on the blog though.

Secretary Rice was lamenting the lack of Arab, Korean and Farsi linguists in the State Department in a congressional hearing. Representative Ackerman suggested perhaps the State Department could hire some of the 300 or so lingusts (including some 50 linguists fluent in Arabic, Korean and Farsi) that the Military has discharged because they are gay.

I started listing the 100 things I wrote down (when I was 16) that I wanted to accomplish before I die. I wouldn't presume I started something, but it must definitely be in the zeitgeist because I've seen a similar topic written about in several places since including one of Terrance's latests posts.

And this I saw this book in the airport the other day: 101 Things to Do Before You Die. So I bought it. I thought it'd be a good book to compare against my own list for inspiration for modifications, interest and just fun. I don't think I'll be adding any :). Here are some of the overlaps of mine with the book (that I didn't list in the first post...

For those of you reading this through a feed and not the blog directly, you can see the link on the site in the 'On this day...'.

It was 3 years ago we decided to get married. It was just a decision. It put in motion a quite amazing experience for all of us.

Over the next few days (our 'anniversary' of that day is in two days) I'm going to write a few short posts about the 'aftermath' of those days.

But we knew that. There is a strong cultural undercurrent that adoptive parents aren't quite good parents, or not 'real' or not.. whatever. I've heard it in media and from others before we became adoptive parents.

But intuition will tell you that because adoptive parents must really want to be parents, must go through a lot of financial and logistical hoops, must pass criminal tests and homestudies, trainings etc. Adoptive parents _as a group_ would be pretty attentive and good parents.

Well, Study: adoptive parents get high marks (link to news article, actual study is here.. will download pdf file)...

It finds, among other things, that:

So tonight we are going out to dinner and then going to see a play.

Well, it's a school play and Emma is going to (she's not in it).

But it should be fun :D.

Happy Valentines Day!

(back to regular posting schedule tomorrow :).

Ah, remind me not to go to Jamaica on vacation...: Angry Homophobic Mob of 2,000 Attacks, Stones Gays in Jamaica ,

Three years ago today we were married in the San Francisco Winter of Love :). It was quite a trip. Reading about it again yesterday made me, as I always easily do, choke up. It was so much of everything, an affirmation of our love, a fun celebration, a protest against inequal treatment, a statement. All wrapped up in one big emotional package. I am so very glad we did it. Still now the ramifications of those days haven't fully come home. As a family, it strengthened our resolve and thrust us into 'activism.' It is also one of those 'family' days that we will always remember and cherish. We celebrated that day with friends (photo here is our two friends and their boys, Guy, me.. in back w/ Emma) and strangers and new friends. Emma still remembers city hall as "the place you got married." Not city hall, not the place with the playground, but the place we got married. We pass it often, since it is only a few blocks from our home. On a personal level that day was nothing but wonderful.

On a state and national level?

I'll have more about this later, but for now, here is the announcment. The Utah State Supreme court ruled that the non-biological parent of GLBT couples have no rights basically. I guess this makes sense, they don't allow same-sex (or even gay individual) adoptions and have a very anti-gay amendment in their constitution now. Still, we know a LOT of LGBT families in Utah. This has to make them feel even more besieged. I wonder how Utah will recognize out-of-state adoptions? Just the fact that I don't know is reason enough to make one cautious about being in Utah as a GLBT family.

Email alert from Equality Utah in 'continue'...

In an interesting counterpoint to Utah's State Supreme Court ruling, today New Jersey state's attorney general ruled that N.J. will honor out-of state same-sex marriages.

They won't be called 'marriages,' but rather 'civil unions' as N.J. has.

Haggard has said that in three weeks he's been totally cured. Well, after his own church's report, DenverPost.com - Flags in Haggard's fall, it looked like his 'long struggle' has been years in the making and many people knew about it, or had some inkling:

We spent part of the weekend at the Russian River. It's in Sonoma County and is a short 90 minute to 2 hour drive away (well, if you don't go up on a Friday night or come home on a Sunday night... then it's 3-4 hours). We stayed at a friends cabin deep in the woods. Our most wonderful experience:

Silence...

Gay rights, marriage, religion, ex-gays, Haggard, this sums it all up beautifully. I don't watch Boston Legal, but I loved this clip:

(tip to Towleroad)

. Barbara Gittings died yesterday of breast cancer at 75 years old. She was one of the early, brave and tireless activists for our rights. I mean early, she started working for rights in 1955, 50 years ago. We owe her a tremendous amount for how far we came. More about her here.

Todays supper? Cheap, Good and Fast Paella. The last two weeks I've been cooking exclusively from the book "" to save money and to see if how many recipes we could add to my repetoire. Mixed reviews so far. They are all very cheap (spent 150 dollars for 10 dinners with leftovers), and definitely fast. Good? Well, hit and miss. The catfish was way too salty and the peanut/pumpkin soup was much too spicy, but Emma LOVED the beefy asian rice. Today we are trying the paella.. more about salvaging the above after some conversation.

I have ALWAYS loved Suess and so does Emma. It was part of my childhood, a fond part and it is of hers. I always thought there was more to it than just fun kid stuff... it's art. Really! Who else could write a book length poem using just over 200 different words that first graders can understand yet mean so much? Well, now there is this annotated Cat in the Hat: The Annotated Cat: Under the Hats of Seuss and His Cats!!! I'm going to buy it, now I can relive my childhood in an adult-kind-of way :).

more in the continuation...

Let's see, on this day I posted an entry every year (if you are reading this through a feed, you can tell on the homepage where I have a "On This Day" thingy :):

2002: We had complications to our first try at an adoption (which fell through 3 weeks after the baby was born).

5 years ago I wrote about the research showing that the _one_ way that has pretty much shown to increase life span (from 20-50% longer) was severe calorie restriction.

I wasn't so sure I wanted to go down to 1500 calories or less...for life. A diet is one thing, but a severe diet (all the while trying to make sure you get the protein and vitamins necessary) for decades? It's nice to live long, but I'd like to enjoy my life too.

Now, new research has come out (in fruit flies anyway, where the original research started.. and then extended to mice, rats, fish, etc) that shows that even SMELLING food shortens life span.

You know though...

A federal judge dismisses a law suit in MA by parents who want the public schools to stop acknowledging same-sex parent families.

A marriage equality bill (to make same-sex marriage legal) was introduced in Illinois.

A ban on recognizing same-sex marriage failed in committee in Wyoming.

Rhode Island attorney general issued a statement that the state will recongnize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere.

Civil Unions become a reality in New Jersey.

Quite a week! The pendulum is swinging back...

The new Conservatipedia, the conservative's answer to the notoriously liberal, even leftist anti-Christian (all said sarcastically) Wikipedia, has been getting a lot of press lately. DailyKos, AndrewSullivan and others have made fun of it.

And wow does it has a lot of fodder to make fun of. Take this article on Kangaroos:

From an early age, Emma has proven to us that she will always be one step ahead. Well, she's not one to be thwarted in her determination.

In spite of the good news, there is still enough hate out there to go around. As reported at Towleroad, Andrew Sullivan and other blogs, a year-old senior citizen was recently beaten to death because of his sexuality. These hate-instigated beatings and threats are not rare as a recent beating of a lesbian in Colorado and our own recent experience show (the latter proving much goes unreported), even deaths (I read of a few every year). This is sad.

Of course, there was the recent incident in Jamaica where a mob of a couple thousand tried to get at two gay men.

This isn't helped by websites like "killbattyman" (which I won't link to), a Jamaican blog which overtly and loudly call for the beating and killing of gays and lesbians.

As GPOC reports, Google today shut down that website. Now, what about the Family Research Council?...

The good news? American adults rank just a tad ahead of Europeans and Japanese in scientific literacy: ScienceDaily: Scientific Literacy: How Do Americans Stack Up?. The article chalks it up to the fact that most American universities require science general education and other nations' universities do not.
Bad news?

That was Emma's question yesterday after watching very rare hail come pounding down in hour San Francisco neighborhood late last night. It woke her up and we took her to the front door to watch it. Radek ran outside and scooped up a handfull (which she enjoyed and we put in the freezer for later inspection for our budding scientist).

Weird weather yesterday. Really strong winds, cold, hail. Then today: warm. It has nothing to do with global warmings (we've had weird weather before and will again), but it did get me to thinking about climate...(how's that for a seque?)

Tonight, if I can get upstairs to the kitchen early enough, we are going to have roast chicken for supper. Recipe is basically simple. More on that later. Now, how about that talk...

Terrance is writing a lot of great stuff about race, money and marriage. It all started when an 'ex-gay for pay' writer criticized Suze Orman (wealthy financial pundit) for calling for equality because she has wealth and that is different than the 'poor' calling for equality. Several (linked in Terrance's posts) have nicely rebuted that (many black advocates for equality were wealthy, wealth doesn't mean one does not still deserve equality). Anyway, delve in.. it's quite a discussion.

And about race...

I've argued this before:

Attention everyone, a West Point Cadet wrote an award-winning (given by the Armed Forces) essay on why it should happen, a former chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff changed his mind and decided it should be allowed, military men and women are comfortable with it, many nations (including our ally in Iraq, Britain) successfully allow it, the military NEEDS them, and several polls including this new poll shows 55% (or more) of the American public agree:

GLBT individuals should be allowed to serve openly in the military. It's about time, so, lets go support legislation to make it happen...

Today the legislation is being introduced with the help of a Marine, first marine wounded in Iraq in combat and gay...

Well, looking at it closer, reading my commenters and reading this post at EricEmery, tells me Conservapedia isn't a hoax. In fact, the person who says he wrote the tree-living octopus article as a "case in point" commented in my blog and the one above admitting he wrote it.

It's been overwhelmed by jokesters, vandals and people trying to make a point. My original sorrow still remains. A lot of people have had a hard time telling apart the false articles from the real ones. Not a nice commentary on the term "conservative" today.