This primary season has had a much more personal impact on our family than have any before. Impacts that intersect race, gender and sexual orientation. As a family of two fathers raising an African American daughter and with the two Democratic front-runners being an African-American man and a woman, the race could not have been anything but momentous in our family.
Both my partner and I supported Barack Obama early on, as far back as last spring. It was generally quiet support, an occasional online donation. The McClurkin incidence came and I wavered. But after his speeches where, in front of hostile (to gay rights) audiences, he spoke forcefully for our rights and after looking at his positions (supports the complete repeal of DOMA), I came to support him strongly. I became a precinct captain for the campaign and donated more and campaigned on phones and on the street.
Our daughter, 5 years old, had other ideas.
Early on she saw a photo of Hillary Clinton and decided that she was her candidate. When I asked her why she liked her over all the others (at this point she had seen many of the dozen or so candidates on TV or newspaper and we explained to her what was going on), she explained it was because she wore a pretty dress. We took that to mean that because of the dozen candidates, she was the one that was a woman.
Her desire to see Hillary Clinton as president became so strong, she started to get upset when I put a poster of Obama up in our window or the bumpersticker on our car. Most of the parents at her school were Obama supporters, and their kids were talking about it alot. It seemed to be the topic of conversation in kindergarten. Emma would "campaign" for "her president" on the sidewalk, asking kids who they were "voting for" and proudly tell them she was a Hillary supporter. Emma would come home and say "So and so is voting for MY candidate!" to let us know she wasn't alone. She'd ask when it was she got to vote. We explained to her that children couldn't vote and she wasn't very happy about that.
Every time she saw something with Obama's photo or name (she could read it by now), she would say "I want _my_ president!"
We support her in this desire. We want her to grow up to be a strong woman and realize that women can be in positions of power and leadership. So, when one day she noticed a front-page photo of Clinton on Newsweek, she wanted it. We let her (well, she insisted) tear off the cover and tape it to her wall. Later she decided it need to go to the front door since Obama's poster was in the window, so she moved it.
When it came to primary day here in California, I told her that even though she couldn't vote, if she wrote Clinton's name down with her name, I'd take it to the vote takers and tell them that my daughter wanted Clinton. She did it, and I did.
Then later that day I was going out to get people out to vote by walking the street. She wanted to go to for "her president." So, without our knowledge, she got a stick out from her room, took the the Newsweek cover down from the door and taped to it the stick. So, we went out on our street corner and she campaigned. That is the photo you see at the beginning of the article.
We are attempting to ease her in into the possibility that either of them can become the candidate and that WE like both of them. That Clinton would be a good president, as would Obama and either of them would be much better (in our opinion) than the man they'd have to run against.
Unfortunately, I had an experience earlier where she told me that "A man like her couldn't be president." She had already gathered something from somewhere that people of color can't be president. Though she doesn't seem to think this is true of gender. At this age, perhaps she identifies more with her gender than her race (though she is pretty clear about her race) and thus her desire to see a woman president is greater than it is to see a president of color.
But either way, in the end, if either of them wins the election, it will be a great thing for our daughter. We've shown her this photo, and she likes the fact that the first-family would include daughters that, as she says, "look like her."
So, this family is rooting for either Clinton or Obama to win the election because if they do it will be a huge boon for our family in real-life policy (repeal of DOMA, better supreme court justices, no attacks from the presidential bully pulpit on our family). In fact, I think we'll go to the White House Egg Roll in celebration in 2009, instead of protest like we did in 2006 (wouldn't that be wonderful!).
And a boon in other ways. No matter who wins, our daughter (and we) will have someone to look up to who is the head of this country, a leader, who looks like her, either a woman or a man of color. She'll spend the next formative eight years (two terms ;) of her life (she'll be 14!) knowing that someone like her can hold one of the most powerful positions on earth.
We are still campaigning for Obama, but we'll work for Clinton if she gets the nomination. (and in the meantime we are very careful _never_ to criticize her within earshot of our daughter! ;).
And hopefully the next 8 years will be very different for our family and our families than the previous 8.
Comments (7)
It breaks my heart that she heard (and now believes) that people with her skin color can't be president. I hope she changes her mind on that. I do love her fighting spirit and knowledge of self. She seems like a pretty spectacular kid. :o)
Comment #131100 on February 19, 2008 11:47 AM |
Watch out or you might find that you have a future politian on your hands ;-)
Comment #131244 on February 19, 2008 7:40 PM |
That's a fascinating story, full of all the tensions that this primary has generated regarding gender and race. I agree that you may have a future politician (or perhaps campaigner) on your hands!
Comment #131684 on February 21, 2008 10:23 AM |
you may have seen this but...
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/2/20/201332/807/36/458633
really good piece on obama
Comment #131706 on February 21, 2008 12:06 PM |
That's an amazing story. I have tried so hard to get on the Obama bandwagon, but because I blog politics at numerous political websites far too much, I have read too much that just does not allow me to get behind the man. We all have our differences, and I respect your passion for his candidacy. I however, have decided it is time for me to leave the Democratic party, not because of the man personally, but because of the philosophical direction the Democratic base chooses to go.
I do think it will be a close race between Obama and McCain in the general election, and it is admirable how he has made history with his campaign.
Comment #131963 on February 22, 2008 12:57 PM |
Your daughter sounds very smart and fabulous. My near-thirteen yr old is for Obama all the way and I am in the Hillary camp though I like Obama as well. It is so fun to watch kids get fired about politics because this if for THEIR future. My daughter also likes to burp "Barack" so that may have something to do with her political affiliations...
Comment #131968 on February 22, 2008 1:11 PM |
Silph, Carrie Jo, Hermione,
SHe indeed will be a politician or campaigner or something. SHe is such a networker too... there's a future there :).
Victor,
THAT is a great post. It exposes the falsehood that many Obama-detractors like to continue to spread that Obama is some kind of "empty Kumbaya illusion' ;-). He has a lot of substance and fight. He also has more experience than a lot of great presidents, including one named B. Clinton, before they were presidents.
Steve,
I'm not sure I know what you mean what 'philosophical' direction the party is choosing to go. I don't see the philosophical direction between the two groups as that much different. I've seen some 'supporters' of both sides be quite nasty. I post on and read various political web sites too. But there is something I've notice, the vitriol and divisiveness online doesn't reflect _at all_ what I am seeing on the ground both as a campaigner and among my own family and friends. The online political world is a nasty one. I could say the same thing about Clinton, I've read too much lately that has made it very hard for me to get behind her. In the primary. I'll vote for her if she wins, but my view has been tarnished.
I also don't think it will be a close election in the general election :D, but I guess we'll see in 9 months.
Comment #131979 on February 22, 2008 2:10 PM |