Daddy, Papa and Me

* Emma is physically mature. Physically she is taller than every one of the 25 children in the future first grade class. She's taller than the majority of THIS years first grade students. She is mature in both fine and gross motor skills. She'd be a head or two taller than nearly EVERY student in the grade lower that she'd be in

* Emma is socially mature and confident by all accounts. She is very social and well-liked by the kids in her class. She interacts with kids her age, younger and older in ways as mature as her age would suggest, if not more so. She is emotionally about average for her age.

* Emma is at or above her age level for her receptive language (understanding what is explained to her) and her abstract and logical thought abilities.

Given these, the next are important...

* Most (though certainly not all, 1 or 2 suggested retention) of the people (outside Emma's teachers) we have discussed this with who are professionals (and the non-professional parents), teachers and learning specialists, say that you don't retain, hold back, a child a grade for one aspect of their academics. The only time, we have been told over and over again, you should do this is if the child is trailing in a large range of developmental, physical and academic traits. Emma is not that child.

* I've done a lot of reading of the research and it backs up what we've been told. To summarize, it basically concludes that most of the time (but not all) retaining a child a grade has no impact on advancing them academically and can sometimes have detrimental social and emotional impacts. Retention is warranted only if the child is trailing in a large range.... well, exactly what many have told us above.

and then more reasons...

* Emma has known these kids for three years, 4 of them she has known for over 5 years of her 6 and are friends from outside the school. If she remains at this school which goes to 8th grade (and we will have to consider that on an annual basis because of financial reasons), she will spend another 8 years with the kids. I can't imagine that being in the same small (on class of 20-25 per grade) school with your friends and forever below a grade is any less socially and emotionally detrimental than struggling in class with them.

* Emma might indeed have a learning difference, perhaps even be dyslexic (some symptoms fit, though it is too early to say that). Or it could be, because children are just this way, she is developing at a different pace and in different areas. At this age kids develop in spurts, starts and stops in different areas. Emma is ahead physically and in receptive ability, she might have a leap in reading. Either way, a long-term learning difference, or just a not-as-yet-jumped development, holding her back won't help. In the first case, a learning difference will need attention whether held back or not (and holding back won't help) and in the second case, it wouldn't help at all.

* We have been tutoring her _daily_ since this experience a month ago and she has made a lot of progress. She reads better and is now actually interested in reading where she wasn't before. More on this later.

All of this suggests strongly to us that retention will not help Emma, and will more than likely be a detriment to her social, emotional and academic well-being. At this point are decision is not to retain her and she will go to first grade this year.

All this said, we don't have to make that final decision for nearly a month, so we are holding out in case some overwhelming bit of evidence to the contrary of our decision comes up. And we are continuing to seek opinions and thoughts and data :), so, if you have any, we'd love to hear them, even if you think we won't like the opinion.

In tomorrow's post, I'll write about what we are doing with Emma (in addition to the Hogwart's Summer School) to help her be prepared for first grade. And I'll write a bit about private vs. public schools, pushing kids vs letting kids be kids, about 'sending kids ahead even when failing' and so much more.

I have a lot in my head.

UPDATE: actually here are some of those references referred to above:

Meta-analysis of Grade Retention Research: Implications for Practice in the 21st Century

"Although grade retention is widely practiced, it does not help children to 'catch up.' Retained children may appear to do better in the short term, but they are at much greater risk for future failure than their equally achieving, non-retained peers."

Grade Retention: Is it a Help or a Hindrance to Student Academic Success?

"...rentention... is not beneficial to students' academic progress, the financial cost and cost to children's self esteem are too great, and it has a correlative relationship with dropping out of school"

The Differential Effects of Repeating Kindergarten

"On average, kindergarten repeaters continue to perform below their peers in terms of literacy skills both at the end of kindergarten and at the end of first grade... Most children appear to recieve little or no cognitive benefit from repeating kindergarten."

A prospective, longitudinal study of the correlates and consequences of early grade retention

"Controlling for initial levels of achievement and adjustment, little evidence was found supporting retention as an intervention for improving educational outcomes"