Changing LDS positions… very slowly
I was a member of the Mormon church for nearly 20 years. I’ve been outside looking in for the last 12. In that time the Church has changed it’s position concerning it’s gay brothers and sisters quick perceptively… if very very slowly. Of course, in the interim it has caused a lot of hardship and suffering because of those positions. Instead of quoting leaders and the like, you can see it in the church-friendly organizations created for GLBT mormons:
First, there were none. Instead there was the official pronouncements to get married and aversion and electroshock therapy. Out of that era came “Affirmation” in 1977 (which just so happens to be the year I became Mormon) to give support to GLBT Mormons, though not necessarily ‘anti-church’, it’s mission was to affirm (thus the name) the dignity of GLBT sexuality and by default has pretty much opposed most of the church’s official standings on homosexuality. There was no organization within or friendly to the church for GLBT members.
In 1989, then came Evergreen International. It’s mission statement is thus:
Evergreen attests that individuals can overcome homosexual behavior and can diminish same-sex attraction, and is committed to assisting individuals who wish to do so.
It does so through a less-cruel method of reparative therapy than the electroshock and aversion therapy practiced in the 70’s and into the 80’s. Still, from my knowledge of those who have gone through it, it has rarely worked, if ever, in the long term at the mission it states (and has seemingly has been a great meeting space for couples, several I know). I guess that’s a step up from the torture of aversion and electroshock, though not particularly great for one’s mental health.
But, tens of thousands of GLBT LDS (there’s a lot of letters, huh?) were never able to change, many suffering though depression and more, many marrying in hopes of changing and thus causing more pain, and eventually leaving the church one way or another. The Church began to soften it’s views (what, our sexuality isn’t next to murder?) and many LDS started to realize that sexuality is more innate, unbidden and difficult, probably impossible, to ignore than they were able to admit before.
So now comes “North Star.” Founded in 2006, it’s purpose isn’t to change, but to support GLBT members who wish to remain in the church:
Recognizing the uniqueness of individual circumstance, North Star takes no official position on the origin or mutability of homosexual feelings and attractions but supports all efforts consistent with the gospel that help individuals live in more full harmony with their covenants and attain greater peace, fulfillment, and sense of individual worth, while affirming that the most essential and eternal growth and progress come through the power of the Savior and adherence to the teachings of His prophets.
I guess that is a step forward. Frankly, it seems that history follows my own. I went through aversion therapy and that didn’t work, it nearly killed me. I went though some variant of “reparative” therapy (counseling, prayer, dating) and that didn’t work, I was becoming depressed. I came out but remained a devout and celibate member, but that didn’t work as I became more and more lonely and hopeless.
I don’t believe _every_ individual will follow that same path, or will end up in the same place I have. But frankly, though much much better than aversion therapy and Evergreen, I believe North Star will be a losing battle for most of it’s members even then.
About The Author
Interesting article, Trey.
I am a relatively active member of North Star. I participate out of curiosity and to be able to gain a better perspective of how some of these members handle their feelings. I consider my position pretty neutral and don’t assign myself a “side” when it comes to handling my sexuality. I have a great respect for the members there trying to find there way.
Whenever I run into GLBT members who want to stay active in church and not act on their feelings, I tend to gear them towards North Star, and that action is purely out of respect. I believe some people genuinely feel like dating a partner of the same-sex is something that suits them. But at the same time, I’ll be honest… there have been a number of people who have left the group, or become less active, because they feel that in the end, that stance isn’t good for them.
I think it’s important to respect whatever stance people have on this subject, and that’s such a large problem within the gay AND LDS community. I hope that it may change one day.
Reply to EvanI’ve watched my own denomination (United Methodist) change its position slowly, hoping that as younger people replace the “old guard” currently running the show that all discrimination in our ranks will be a thing of the past. Right now, we seem to operate unofficially on don’t ask, don’t tell although that varies widely congregation by congregation.
I envision a possible split (such as is happening with the Episcopalians) somewhere down the line.
In the meantime, you might be interested in looking at this:
(I’ll send the link separately – it’s being stubborn.). It’s called the Reconciling Ministries Network. My local congregation just voted overwhelmingly to join after a discussion that lasted almost two years. Our membership won’t change what we’re already doing on our own but it’s an official statement of support.
Reply to Ann AdamsHere’s the link to RMN.
http://www.rmnetwork.org/
Reply to Ann Adams